Why We Homeschool

There are many people out there who don't understand why anyone would want to homeschool.  The reasoning goes like this - hey, public school is free, it gets your kids out of your hair all day, the kids will make friends with others their age, they'll learn what they need to know to succeed, and oh, by the way, good lord homeschooling would be way too much work.

I've written previously dispelling some of these myths, but in this post, I really want to answer the question WHY people like me homeschool.  Here are my top three reasons:


1.   Because I Don't Want To Give Up Time With My Children. 
We parents only have about 18 years - out of an entire lifetime - where we will see our children every day, where we will we know them better than anyone on earth, where we can touch them and hug them and tell them we love them face to face in the same house.  After that - they're gone.  That's all we get.  Most parents lose an additional 4 (or more!) years of their child's life to school (assuming 12 years of school at 8 hours a day).  That makes it 14 years with your child.  Only 14 short years.

You know what? I want every freaking day of those 18 years that I can possibly get.  I was given the exquisite pleasure of being a mother, and I want to enjoy every moment of that gift.  I want to see and hear my children every day - I want to watch them play and grow and learn.  I want to grow and learn from them.  I refuse to give those moments and days and years up to peers and teachers and school administrators that will not value them.  And I sure as hell don't want to look back at their childhoods, wistfully (as so many empty-nesters do), because I missed out. 

(naysayer readers are going to say I'm selfish, to which I'll freely admit! But - I will offer them this: I recognize and honor a child's desire to do things independently, and the importance of them having their own lives.  My girls enjoy lessons and playdates and outings in abundance, and will pursue joyful adventures (including school if that is ultimately their desire) outside the home to their heart's content.

2.   Because I Want to Protect Their Self-Esteems

As a 21-year academic veteran (Pre-K through JD), I know first hand that school is rough on the self-esteem.  Kids are mean.  I spent my sixth and ninth grade years, inexplicably, a complete social pariah.  I was ignored by kids who previously were my friends, and those who did talk to me would say retched things... I distinctly remember a boy telling me my legs looked like upside down bowling pins, and more than once I suffered comments about the size of my breasts.  It took me many, many years to undo the damage that that "typical" school yard teasing took on my psyche.

So much of what esteem I did have was tied to academic and extra-curricular success.  Getting excellent grades, winning leadership awards, playing the lead in school musicals, winning student elections, getting into an exclusive east coast college, etc., etc, made me feel good about myself.  I didn't get this belief system from the ethers, mind you.  Schools drill into us that good grades, awards and the like are positive attributes and will make us successful in life. 

I don't want my children to encounter either situation.  I find no need to expose my children to a classroom full of children whose parents I don't know and whose values don't reflect those of my family.  I would never spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 9 months out of the year with people who are unkind and judging...  why would I expose my precious children to that? My world is filled with parents and children who value and demonstrate kindness and compassion and inclusion and acceptance.  That is the only world I want my children to be a part of. 

Further, I don't want my childrens' self-esteems to be dependent on anything on the outside - grades, awards, activities, sports, whatever it may be.  I want them to play sports for the pure love of the game.  I want them to sing for the pure joy of making music.  I want them to write because they have a passion to share their ideas.  The bottom line - I want them to love themselves simply because they are who they are - joyful, loving, expressions of God.

3.   Because Schools (usually) Suck the Joy Out of Learning

Our public schools teach children what legislators and administrators say that they have to learn.  It's pre-determined, one-size-fits-all schooling.  There are "standards," and children must live up to those standards to continue on to the next grade.  They must take tests on topics, no matter how irrelevant, how conceptual, how completely forgettable those things are in the life of a child.  Schools shove facts into children's heads, require children to regurgitate those facts on to fill-in-the-bubble standardized tests, and care not one iota that a child has no interest in what they've just learned.  Forced learning takes the joy out of it all.


I want my children to love to learn.  I want them to find their passion, and zealously pursue it.  I don't want to fill their heads (especially in those high school years) with useless, forgettable information.  I want them to be led by their own imaginations.  My oldest child, Brianna, loves to write and illustrate little books.  We talk together about what she's writing about.  After she's done, we talk about spelling of the words in the book.  We talk about whatever art medium she used to create them.  We talk about the experiences she's detailed in the book.  That's how my child learns... not from tests, not from lectures, but by doing what she loves.  Homeschooling affords us that.

If you're already homeschooling, you probably share my sentiments, and perhaps have more of your own.  Feel free to share them in the comment section below.  If you're still thinking about homeschooling, I hope this post has helped you decide in favor of homeschooling :)  May I also recommend for your continued reading pleasure:
Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling by John Taylor Gatto
Punished by Rewards (and anything, really) by Alfie Kohn

If you liked this post, you might also like:
Homeschooling Doesn't Mean School at Home and Other Misconceptions About Homeschooling