11 Things I Wish I Knew As A New Parent

 A grainy picture of me as a new mother, with Brianna, my first baby.  

Ah, if I could go back and tell myself these things, I'd have no regrets.

1.    Despite the excitement of registering for (and receiving) all that baby stuff, it all just gets in the way and ultimately clutters the landfill.  A sling and your breasts provide your baby all he could ever want.

2.    Breastfeed.  There is nothing - nothing - that makes you feel more blissed out, more loved, than nursing your baby. 

3.   When the going gets tough with breastfeeding (and it likely will in those first 6 weeks), don't give up.  Do whatever you can to get the help you need.  No need for expensive lactation consultants; La Leche League - through their leaders, meetings, and books - offers their wealth of knowledge for free.

4.   Those first few months of your baby's life will pass in the blink of an eye.  Spend every moment you can holding that little one.... with a sling during the day, and co-sleeping at night. 

5.   Babies and toddlers don't sleep through the night.  It's normal and instinctual for them to wake up.  Your job is to be there to comfort (and nurse!) them when they do.

6.   Don't listen to other mothers when it comes to parenting decisions, because most of what they will tell you is crap.  Crap that is harmful to baby and harmful to the child/mother bond.  Listen to your own intuition and guidance instead.

7.   Children don't need to be taught independence when it comes to sleep, feeding, or otherwise.  The desire for independence comes naturally to all human beings.  When your child is ready to become independent from you, he will.

8.   Research every little thing anyone - particularly doctors - tells you that you have to do to your pregnant self and to your child.  Research prenatal testing. Epidurals and all things birth. Vaccines.  Circumcision.  Pediatric growth charts. The sufficiency of your milk supply.  You and your baby deserve better than the  uninformed status quo.

9.   Your easy-going baby will - at some point - turn into a toddler with a mind of his own.  His desires will absolutely differ from yours.  When faced with the inevitable tantrums, know that it's a normal and necessary outlet for his emotions, and keep your own energy under control.

10.   Children are loud, messy and chaotic.  Expect it, embrace it.  Don't waste precious time with your children trying to keep their noise and mess always "under control."

11.   Above all, all your child wants from you is love, physical affection, and acceptance.  Do your damndest to provide that to him every day, in every way.